Wednesday, June 30, 2004
lalalaa-
will update bout my day here.hmmm..
- went to sch.din fall asleep todayy.*sense of accomplishment*
- did my online test and all.=) used the school com.the school pcs rocks mann.
- slacked around with my friends.at the cafe and all.laughed over crazy stuff.
- had lab session 2 tutorials and 1 lecture.slacked through all.did a stupid skit that i made up impromptu.and bad..it was really crappy.cos like..we had people acting as a test tube.a chemical spill and a neutralising agent.=/ lame lahh.*put a big L on my forehead*.
- hmmm.drank two cups of mocha.one mocha freez and one ice cafe mocha.i deserve the title mochaholic more than jonny mann.hahaa.
that's bout it??.i dunno what else to sayy.glad that you're doing fine rachhie.yupps.tk care.
; ange
9:34 PM
jon jon jon
hahahhs.
there.
i titled an entry after you dear.
grin grin grin.
anywae.thanks a million.
you're the best.
byee.
takkaire.
; rachh
4:34 PM
letter writing spree.
whee.
hahahhs.
im going madd.
supposed to be studying for chinese test tmr.but im just gonna slack online for awhile.
to you:
whoever you are.thanks for the letter.
to schezn:
heyy dearie.thanks a million for your letter.
and i dun mean it in the same way as above.
it was a real Godsend.at the perfect time.and dun worry abt the overhearing part kaes.its my fault.i was talking too loudly abt my personal problems.anywae.nothing but good has come out of it.so no worries kae.
to angel:
thanks so so so much dear.
yeahh.the words are still ringing in my ear like nobody's business.but as you said.im not going to dwell on it.reallie thank you for all your support.you've been my strength yeahhs.
to jon:
ehh.how do you know?whoever it was didn't send it to you.
anywae.thanks.reallie wanted to talk to you abt it.but angel's ritee.we do nd time alone for awhile.
plus.it is-or rather was-wierd to talk abt such a letter when it involves us.dun worry though.i didn't do anything stupid.and im quite over it.
-grinn.
to choo:
see.i didn't forget you.hahahhs.you should noe what i mean by the title.hehhs.fun.fun.fun.shall continue decorating my hwk diary tmr.as i said.til there's no more empty space.
-winks-
*angel:im not flirting.
hees.
hms.
that shld be all.
byee.
gotta go mug liaos.
takkaire all.
*angel:yays.taking my mind off it all.
-points to the above abt mugging-
`rachhie
; rachh
3:36 PM
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
pissed. again and again!!
sacrificing like marks cos i cant access e-learning.grr.angry.cant watch the e-lecture.pissed!!hmmm.
rachhie..i am just as angry.however did that must have too much anger inside.you cant please everyone.true.but as long as you're answerable to God.and that you know that there are people who love you still.all else doesnt matter.dun bother bout whoever that is.cos whoever it is.is taking advantage of your situation to put you down even more.
-you are beautiful..no matter what they say. cos words cant bring you down...-
to jce- heyy our way of typing aint the same in case you din realise.hahaaa.for your benefit i leave my name here todayy.and yess i know you're excited.one beeg family again.yeaa.
to rachhie- its ok yeaa.hope you get better day by day!! praying for ya!! *huggs*
this is written by- *d0nuT. angell lahh.
; ange
9:58 PM
`someone out there hates me.
someone out there seriously hates me.
i got this stupid anonymous letter.what the..
please just address all your venom towards me with courage.
sighs.
forget it mans.
today went relatively well.thanks to choo ting, schezn and zhang chun yu.hehhs.shocked?
yupps.
im still quite in shock.so i dun think i care to write anything else.byee.
rachel
; rachh
3:46 PM
Monday, June 28, 2004
sorie.
to angel:
heyy.im reallie sorie.
i noe i said i wld call. and im supposed to be sleeping now.but i just cant sleep.
stupid headache.
i will call.and explain everything once im sane again and feeling better kaes.
thanks for being so understanding.
lurve ya loadds.
to jon:
heyy.
please dun share the blame with me.
as i said before.im used to taking the blame.its okaee.i noe its my fault.
i knew the promise i had to keep.and i still went ahead.stubborn as usual.wendy was ritee when she said it wld get me into trouble.
bleahhs.
i hate it when she's ritee.
anywae.im sorie for everything.for all the confusion and stuff.
takkaire.
byee.
`rachhie
; rachh
10:46 PM
everything will be fine.*
my dear.i just wanna let you know.i will be here for you.you aint alone k??.very simply cos i love you.tk care dear.you said you'll call but..heyy.its fine k??.yeaa.
; ange
9:43 PM
Sunday, June 27, 2004
|| sometimes i hate this life. ||
you wanna hear about frustrations??
- yes i left in the middle of the svc.i was feeling really badd.crying and all.i dunno.just so messed up inside.anger bitterness everything.rachhie i really dun wanna start to like.dun like you again.help..
- and heyy.i wanna know what kinda verdict you all came up with??.
running back to my blog.anything else you can read there.yupps.tk care dear.
; ange
9:57 PM
--last day of freedom
sighs.
school's starting tmr.so blahhs.im feeling so depressed.and i dun noe whether its cos school's starting again or whatt.
it all started at abt one a.m. todaee.
sighh.jon sent me a msg.and sorta freaked me outt.that was followed by a 50 minute talk on becky's handphone.
-sorie becks-
talked abt all sorts of things.and thought we settled stuff.but apparently everything is still quite messed up.or so to speak.its like it was so amicable and everything.we were very agreeable and all the terms were agreed upon.we even came to a whatsit?
verdict.
yeahh.that's the word he used.
basically.we were agreeable and we kinda rushed the byes.but when i woke up in the morning i was kinda like is that what i reallie want? is that how it has to be.i kinda felt sadd.
and lost.
and confused.
reallie confused.
i dunno.
went to church.jon had this long papaya face.
icks.
i hope it wasn't becos of the talk.but i have this badd feeling that it was.
sorie.
then we had lessons.it was actually quite cool.
except for the fact that all my
'secrets' came out.hahahhs.
cos instead of the planned lesson,we sorta had a girl talk.about relationships and all.sharon being the more
experienced one gave her two-cents worth of advice.
and time just flew by like that.towards the end it became more awkward cos like all the aunties and uncles started coming in.so couldn't realie speak freely.
service was okaee.i paid attention!!! yays.hahahhs.yeahh.
after that cheryl and i went out for lunch at macs together.we had a good girl talk again.we shared lotts of stuff.
thanks for trusting me yeahh gurl.takkaire and rawk on..
then was rehearsal and all.met jon and aaron again.and their cousin melanie.
she's sooo grown up already.it was just a few years back that she was
this tall*hand at knee level*
groans.
which reminds me.
im not growing anymore.
after that came home and watched
chariots of fire.
cool show.
bout this guy who refused to run in an olympics heat just cos it was a sunday.it was like wow.
makes me wonder.would i have done that after working like nobody's business.would i have given everything up to obey God?
sigh.
sometimes i think my faith is like wayy shallow.which is quite sadd when you think abt it.
-rachhie out-
grinns.
; rachh
6:33 PM
Saturday, June 26, 2004
`will you be there for me
sigh.
dunno where to start.
okaee.let me tell you about the sari-trying yesterday.it was totally
nightmare.
all mohan's faultt.
the actual plan was for him to fetch us frm sch.
BUT
smart him just had to try and make things easier for himself.ended up asking us to meet him at this 7-11 somewhere near a shell stn and blahs.
his instructions were like
way vague.
so joycee and i-i arranged with annette to get mohan to pick her up frm yishun mrt [or course mohan wasn't aware though]-wandered abt.we were following his directions.and asking pple along the way.along the way we had to get up this steep patch of grass and when we were almost at the top.joycee lost steam or smthg and was like squealing.
squealing.
i never knew joycee squealed.but yesterday it was like she was perpetually squealing or smthg.
okaee.so that's a bit exaggerated.but yeahh.she
squeals.. so OMG.
we finally ended up at amk street 61.
bleahs.
way out of the way.so we rearranged with mohan to meet at amk mrt stn.then we found out tt we were nearer to yio chu kang mrt.in fact it was within walking distance.so we walked there.
so basically we walked frm school to yio chu kang mrt.
bleahs.
and nt the straight way.but the
roundabout way.
icks.
so by the time mohan fetched us frm amk-he was like half an hour late-we were all soaked with sweat.
totally gross.
anywae.he brought us to his sister's hse.but becos she hadn't said her prayers yet we just sat there in the living rm-i think- and daydreamed.
ohh.
and guess what? found out mr.mohan's name is victor.
VICTOR!!
goodness.its so not him lohhs.
well.becos she was saying her prayers and all the room was like super hazy and the incense smell was sooo strong.
icks.
quite gross actually.but what to do.
finally it was time to try on the saris.it was quite embarassing.cos at first mohan was trying to explain to us how we weren't supposed to wear anything under the blouse and all.mohan in his typical blunt and straightforward manner.
fortunately his sister came to our rescue.she sorta bundled us all off to her daughters' bedroom.then we had to change.change into these teensy-weensy blouses.
very tiny.
joycee had to open her mouth and voice her embarassment.so poor her ended up changing in a diff room all by herself.it wasn't so bad cept for the fact that her blouse was button up frm the back type.so she had noone to help her.annette's was zip at the side-which was easy-and mine was button up at the side.that was awkward to wear.so annette helped me.
sooo
ticklish.
-giggle giggle-
then.we learnt how to tie the saris.imagine.6 yards long of cloth ard you.first you tie a knot at one end.tuck it in behind you.turn one round.leave a bit out before starting 4-5 pleats.tuck the pleats in.then the extra bit of cloth also tuck in as one last pleat.the end of the cloth you arrange depending on the style.the end result was actually quite nice.luckily i took the green one.otherwise i wld have looked like a ghost.
hees.
after that slacked ard before meeting jon.basically we wandered ard bugis-mainly at muji-.then we went to sengkang.wandered ard compass point.i absolutely refused to go on a joy ride on the lrt with him.i mean it wld have been a waste of money for me.after all i've taken it a million times.sorie jon.we went to the library after watching the lrt-frm outside-and flipped through a few mags.we both bought a bar of choc.then he sent me off.
i concluded the day at my cousins' place.played soccer with joe n bryan.stuck with being goalkey.but heyy-im not complaining.they play so rough.no way am i joining in as anything else.
than last nite.joe dragged me downstairs to watch soccer with him.
AGAIN.
ended up sleeping on the couch once more.which would explain the aching body.
ohwells.
gotta run off to church to meet angel.
thanks to everybody who made my yesterdayy so funn.
lurve you guyys loadds-huggs-
especially joycee.
-grinns.
; rachh
2:13 PM
Thursday, June 24, 2004
no cutting.no drinking.no clubbing.
i am still keeping by these.cos i know its for my own good. that urge of just picking up something sharp and just drawing a red line through was so strong.and..i dunno.
- i never told you all why i tumbled down those stairs.
- perhaps i never really explained why i cut.
- and most probably you all will never know what im thinking.cos i dunno myself.
- i never come clean much.
- i am always shown as the strong one.like riight.
im human.im a girl.im only 17.must i go thru so much??.
-yes i must.to grow up.to emerge..stronger.i hope.
no more tears.no more.
-iwillbehappy.iwillbehappy.evenifimnot.iwill.-
; ange
10:20 PM
-raise eyebrows-
yes my dear girl.i realised.lOls.not bad ma..you can do this.hahaha.
-rachhie i need you to change the font and colour of the tagboard.can do that??.hahaa.hmm.my day's ok.but yeaa.i dunno lehh.hmm im fine lahh.=)
to my dear xiao di ron.da jie loves you.=) *huggs*.no energy le.hahaha.
cont updating..and yupps when i have the time ill do a proper entry kk??
love ya lots rachhie!! -muacks.*
; ange
9:22 PM
24 06 04--family day
backache.shoulderache.wristache.ankleache.
BASICALLY-everywhere aches.
BIG time.
yesterday nite.in order to wake up for the 2.30 game.joe and i slept downstairs.i was on the long couch.but it was not long enough for me.so i was totally scrunched up.
icks.
well.woke up at 1.30.my bro was still awake.decided nt to watch anymore.went back to my nice and comfy bed.
couldn't sleep.
at all.
sigh.
i was just feeling so lost.so lonely.
i felt like crying.
but nothing came out.
felt like screaming.
the words just
stuck in my throat.
it was like this badd mix of anger,
frustration and sadness.
stir in a lil bit of
pain.
finally fell asleep at ard 5.
woke up aching all over.my mum's friends came over.we went out as a family.cept for mumie and babie elyssa.
went bowling.
it was totally screwed.
fun but screwed.
i won the first game with a
pathetic score of seventy-smthg.i was second last in the second game with an even more pathetic score of forty-three.
bleahs.
and in the process i somehow banged my thumb.was messaging jon throughout the game.then suddenly had to msg with one thumb.
so
wierd.
luckily its not so sore anymore.
bleahs.
still real bored.
angel darling-
its okaee.take your time yeahh.
takkaire.
lurve ya loads.
mwaa+
; rachh
1:10 PM
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
no title
still under construction dear.will continue tmr.=) lub ya.-angel
; ange
10:24 PM
23 06 04
sighs.
actually.dunno what to write.here goes nothing..
went to the orthodontist today.
yong tau foo -yong than fui- (my dentist)was not in.got this cuuuutte young guy.hahahhs.xinhui was like
drooling.
totally.
then halfway through.dust got into my eyes.so i was like -blink blink- guess what? xinhui was like "i swear he
winked back".
shock shock.
talk about light flirting mann.i was totally OMG.hahahhs.
but it was damn comic.cos we kept laughing at him.and he just smiled along as if he knew what we meant.dotts.
bleahs.
after that.just slacked ard at home.
icks.
BORING day.
; rachh
9:43 PM
; ange
9:37 PM
